Clarity

So a month passes and your view of your own personal reality changes, things that you thought were real and utterly important turn out to be lies and trivial to the point of outright silliness.






Meeting D really opened my eyes to what I had been missing in the last few years, and now I see that it wasn't damage or the fear of falling in love that kept me from falling in love with K, she never let her guard down, so I never felt safe enough to fall for her.

With D, well she is incredibly open, affectionate.
Granted we have had the growing pains of any couple where one of the two is a little gun shy or twitchy, but I take full blame for that. Maybe of couple of points of contention, but I think in the long run they will just make us stronger, we are both pretty stubborn, so I might have to be careful not dig my heels in too deep and ruin it.

For once I am not worried about the future or even thinking about it, what will be will be. However it does make me think twice about going out west for six months, yeah the 50k plus would be pretty helpful for getting my house off the ground in the next year or two, but I don't know if I could be away that long.

For the moment I don't think I have enough information on either choice to make a choice at this moment in time. The idea of no mortgage payments for the rest of my life and building the house cash out of pocket would pretty amazing.

So I should wrap this up, go apologize and maybe explain that I have a hard time backing down from anything that even looks like a fight, never mind saying sorry for the little things.



Post Note:

Crash and burn 5 days later, almost made it to 5 weeks.


Ghost.